can i or can't i?

after talking v him from a long fon call....v decided to stop seeing each other for the next two month...actually i edi planning to do so but just i wanted him to say it ratter than me....may be if is me i will felt bad after saying that because i can resist to stop seeing him or even contact him....if is him who say it out i will be a bit ok with it because this is wat he choose to...haha....but actually is because i wanted to now the answer, always fan-ing him....hope to get the answer as quick as possible and also the answer that i wanted...

in the end i got what i deserve....may be is a good thing...may is not? i dun really know...i noe it will be a bit hard for me to do so....but i can nt choose anything more than this...may be its better because i will fan him and also let him have some time to really think about it....hopefully he will not change his mind within the two month...hopefully i get wat i deserve...hopefully it turn out well....

but my feelings now is like so regretful of agree-ing....my mind turn out many may be question, many if question.....the time haven come i edi simply think stuff de....i can nt denied that is me...

at this time i can nt be very happy or sad...there is nothing to be happy of...nothing to be proud of...just can take it normally...

with in the two month...will it have many things happen that time?....will things change? will i break my promise for dialing the fon? can i stand with-in the two month? nah....there will have no answer for these question because i dun one to answer any of it....may be in the first place i should let him go...if he comes back means he still love me....if not than there is nothing more to be stubborn of.....

u dun tell me wat our relationship will be in the next month but i edi noe what v will be....not couples not even friend not even enemy....just a normal person...

i will until the times come and i hope u hold ur promise.....

love kills....

today i finally finish my exam....fuh...but still have lots of assignment to finish...cham....life is like tat de la....hehe....

today i saw this new about a guy name alvis kong, is not something shocking actually but just a guy because of "love" suicide....

this is the guy....handsome right? personality i dun noe la....but heard from some friends of mine after the first relationship, he edi wanted to go suicide....to me my mind came out with a WHY?

WHY he wanted to think that way? now after the second one....he do wat he wish for.... commit suicide....is like very proud of doing that...but the truth is....NO!!! u dun gain any proud-ness of doing that...u only will make the people tat care about u suffer....he said hw much he love his GF...and now he will just bring pressure to the people he love....i really dun noe wat is he thinking....he got the looks....scare can nt find another people that really love him....if dun one than take the guts to chance back her...what for go die...hurt the parents who raise him until now....i really dun one to say this but is really STUPID.

i'm not sad because he die...i'm sad because he dun have the guts to live on...i'm sad because his parents sure will be sad of this.....i'm sad because why can he be so selfish.....

even me...after the people i love leave me ....it was sad....it was hurt....although i did think of hurting myself....even suicide...i noe is stupid....but in the end...i didn't do any of this because i know my parents will be sad, my friends....i dun one them to be sad....i dun one to hurt them....thats y i'm still here....even now i'm still trying to get bck the person i love but to say the truth i really dun noe how long it will last....

these few days i being forceful to know the answer...may be i'm scare that i dun noe how long it will take...dun noe how long the feeling will last....dun noe in the end will u came out will th sentence" i dun love u any more"....算了啦。u wanted to be this way...i just will follow...thats all.....

爱情，不要顺其自然...

i found this interesting and also kind of right for wat it wrote....

我们总是以为，我们会找到一个自己很爱很爱的人。 可是当我们回首，才发觉自己曾经多么天真。 假如从来没有开始，你怎么知道自己会不会很爱很爱那个人呢？

其实，很爱很爱的感觉，是要在一起经历了许多事情之後才会发现的。

茫茫人海可以找到一个心爱的人，这是多么大的福气， 或许没有你想象那么好，应该也不会糟糕到哪里， 所以要知福惜福好好珍惜，多说关怀话，少说责备话。

如果你懂得珍惜，你会发现你获得的越来越多， 如果你一昧追求，你会发现你失去的越来越快。

爱情合理就好，不要委屈将就，不要相信完美的爱情， 其实彼此有缺点，有一种纯朴的可爱就足够了。

我们拥有一只鞋子的时候，才会明白失去另一只鞋子的滋味， 消逝的恋情总是刻骨铭心的，珍惜或放下，都是生命中必经的过程。

相爱的时候需要真诚，争执的时候需要沟通， 生气的时候需要冷静，愉快的时候需要分享， 指责的时候需要谅解，过日子的时候需要包容。

一个人的生命里，擦肩而过的人有千千万万， 有几个是知音？有几个是深爱自己的人？ 爱情再坚固，也无法承受忙碌的侵蚀， 你忙得天荒地乱，你忙得忘记关心，你忙得身心疲惫，你忙得无所适从， 但是 ------ 爱情不能等你有空才珍惜。

*p/s: u always ask me to do my stuff and when free that time only come find u this and that...but not everything free that time only do only shows appreciation...because once the feeling have gone...the love have gone...is too late to show any appreciation....and i dun one it to happen so i'm not wasting every single time that i can spend with u....^_^

i wanted to high light this part:

女人不要说，你没有遇到你想遇到的人，你想嫁的人，如果你的容貌身材姿色收入家庭条件出生没有发生改变的话，按照常理和规律，你就应该和现在的人在一起。

男人不要说，等我有了钱，等我成功了，等我有了权，如果你的相貌身材收入家庭姿色没有发生根本转变的话按照常理和规律，你就应该和现在的人在一起。你现在能遇到的，能交往的，就是你可以找到的人。

所以，你不要想以后怎样，以后是以后的事情。

人生不过百年，幕起幕落而已。

b4 this i always wanted to find some1 that is perfectly match to what i'm looking for in a guy that i love....but now i realize that the person i'm with is actually the person i'm looking for all these time....haha...it is true....i will stop thinking of wat will happen nx because i just want to appreciate the time i have v u...

wish me luck for my exam later....^_^

emo-ing...

last night suddenly i went emo-ing....started to simply think stuff again....suddenly felt like hearing the song from Jay chao- 回到过去。。。when hearing this song my tears began to drop....is not the song that make me felt touch....is the memories i have that can not turn bck....this happen may be because now he is at ipoh...it reminds me back when v were tgt and he is still at ipoh haven transfer bck here....the time many sweet and touching things happen....many calling...many msg-ing...many missing....may be is because that is the period of "hot love" ba....and now things change...none of this will happen again....if just me here waiting n waiting....hoping one day something will happen but sometimes v really need to face the truth were the sweet time have past de....and never coming bck...is not that i dun one to...i'm just be truthful to myself thats all....

being emo-ing sometimes is good....where u will not still dreaming of any good stuff to happen and face the reality...sometimes it really sad to be emo-ing where sometimes people dun understand u...

this is me...who like to be emo sometimes when i'm alone or sometimes with friends....

long hair....

i had once keep long hair....it was the longest i had...that long hair i had i kept it so long, tahan for so long...but in the end i cut it short...very short...just to change a new look....haha...think bck a bit stupid of me to cut short...haha...if now i still have that long hair, may be i can also play with other style like curling my hair, continue to dye my hair with new colours(of cos not those super striking colour la....haha)

hope my hair my grow faster cos i miss it so much.....>_<

always to be remember that u really love some1, u must....

爱一个人，要了解，也要开解；

要道歉，也要道谢；

要认错，也要改错；

要体贴，也要体谅；

是接受，而不是忍受；

是宽容，而不是纵容；

是支持，而不是支配；

是慰问，而不是质问；

是倾诉，而不是控诉；

是难忘，而不是遗忘；

是彼此交流，而不是凡事交代；

是为对方默默祈求，

而不是向对方诸多要求；

可以浪漫，但不要浪费；

`*不要随便牵手，

`*更不要随便放手

dear，谈一场永不分手的恋爱,可以吗?

谈一场永不分手的恋爱；

就算吵架；

就算生气；

就算分开；

也会在一起！

谈一场永不分手的恋爱；

就算我们很忙；

就算我们很累；

只要见到彼此就会温馨一笑！

谈一场永不分手的恋爱；

就算我们结婚；

就算我们有孩子；

就算我们在一起很久了；

我也会想让我在睡觉前抱你一会儿！

谈一场永不分手的恋爱；

那场恋爱；

我们都会长大；

都会懂事；

都会成熟；

但也会在只有彼此的时候幼稚一下下！

谈一场永不分手的恋爱；

在那场恋爱里；

只有彼此；

没有背叛；

没有分离；

没有心痛！

谈一场永不分手的恋爱；

那场恋爱里；

我们懂得彼此；

熟悉彼此；

习惯彼此；

依赖彼此！

谈一场永不分手的恋爱；

我们的恋爱中；

有一个自己的家；

有一个我们的宝宝；

孩子叫我爸爸、叫你妈妈！

谈一场永不分手的恋爱；

我们会一直牵着彼此的手；

陪着对方渡过每一天；

快乐、忧伤；

首先会想到对方；

彼此的感情不会随着时间的逝世而随波逐流！

谈一场永不分手的恋爱；

我们会一直走下去；

蹒跚漫步；

夕阳西下；

白头到老；

相濡以沫；

然后轻抚着你的脸庞、轻声说句

“对你感觉一直都在！”

baby...

from the date 30-11-2010 u started to call me "baby",

although is kind of shocking that suddenly u call me "baby",

but deep inside i'm happy to hear it...

because u will not call me other than "bi"...

although is the same but it have been some times to heard u being a bit sweet to me....haha

i like the way u call me because it makes me felt somehow important to u...

i felt special than others....

i wanted to feel that way....

and somehow i felt although u like to answer me don't know for some question...

but deep inside of u already have answer for it....

i noe my six sense is just 50/50

but i hope it is true of what i have sense...

hopefully to hear u call my "baby" everyday until one day i truly become ur "baby" ....^_^

month of December......^_^

2-12-2010

time passes very very fast....so fast is the end of the year.....so fast i'm going to move to my new house and finally stay v my parents.....so fast i'm going to leave my hometown...so fast Christmas and new year is around the corner....

this day remind me many memories of him....the time v went out dating...the time v saw our first movie together just the two of us....the time v walk around window shopping....the time v read books tgt saying how our place should be design in the future...the time v always went shopping for food.....i always have a great time when spending time just for me n u.....^_^

i would say that everyday is a special day when being with u...i think i should have a camera to always take around when i'm v u....always take down the special moment v u.....hehe...

hopefully everyday is a happy day for me n u.....love u....

hehe....

"Everyone should have an awesome relationship once in the life..love someone truely and thoroughly, create the sweetest memory and story with him or her.. Now, I would like to start my story with her and end it up when I leave this world.."

i found this from my best friend blog where her lgz wrote this to her and i found it totally right and quite touching.....i would like to say this to my buddy "kenix lim" that i felt happy for her as she is now very xin fu and i also hope they will be tgt until forever... and another thing is although her lgz is skinny but i can say he is an awesome guy.....thank god u found him...haha.....

^_^

“你”就是我的男朋友...

男朋友就是为了陪你而放弃了他最爱的玩游戏、打篮球的那个人
男朋友就是每天不厌其烦的陪你吃饭、打水、散步、自习、送你回宿舍（家）的那个人；
男朋友就是虽然身上没什么钱，也会请你吃饭的那个人；
男朋友就是早晨你醒来时第一个想到的那个人；
男朋友就是能跟你打电话聊到半夜都舍不得挂的那个人；
男朋友就是在你最艰难的时候陪伴在你身边的那个人；
男朋友就是为了不让你担心，无论出了什么事都要自己默默承担的那个人；
男朋友就是手机里总是存满你给他发的短信，直到信箱满了都舍不得删掉的那个人；
男朋友就是无论你是不是漂亮都会夸赞你漂亮的那个人；
男朋友就是以玩游戏为由察看你的手机纪录，确信跟你常联系的都是你的女性朋友才放心的那个人；
男朋友就是学会唱他认为好听的歌，然后在你耳边唱给你听的那个人；
男朋友就是努力做到让你用崇拜的眼光来看他的那个人；
男朋友就是在你任性、耍小脾气时，也会忍住脾气不会冲你发火的那个人；
男朋友就是看到你流泪时，为你擦去泪水给你一个温暖拥抱的那个人；
男朋友就是就算你犯了错误，也舍不得骂你的那个人；
男朋友就是可以在车站等你很久也不会介意的那个人；
男朋友就是明明最不喜欢逛街，还能陪你一家一家的逛到你觉得满意为止的那个人；
男朋友就是在期末你为考试焦头烂额时耐心的帮你复习功课的那个人；
男朋友就是最爱在你面前展露他的本领的那个人；
男朋友就是有着宽厚的肩膀可以让你随时依靠的那个人；
男朋友就是吃饭时放慢速度等你的那个人；
男朋友就是总是让你走在马路内侧的那个人；
男朋友就是过马路时会紧紧拉住你的手的人；
男朋友就是就算情人节也不会买花给你，让你对他又爱又气的那个人；
男朋友就是深夜为你开着手机的那个人；

my version of - just the way you r...^_^

your eyes, your eyes
make the stars look like they’re not shining
your hair, your hair
curls perfectly without you perming
your so charming
And I'll tell you everytime (yeah)

I know, I know
When I compliment you won’t be feeling it
And it’s so, it’s so
Sad to think that you don't feel what I feel
But everytime you asks me “Do I look okay?”
I say

[Chorus]
When I see your face
There’s not a thing that I would change
‘Cause you’re amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile
The whole world stops and stares for a while
‘Cause boy you’re amazing
Just the way you are

[Verse 2]
your lips, your lips
I could kiss them all day if you let me
your laugh, your laugh
always makes me feel like its so funny
your so charming
And I'll tell you every time

Oh you know, you know, you know
I did ask you to change
If perfects what you’re searching for
Then just stay the same
So don’t even bother asking if you look okay
‘Cause you know I’ll say

[Chorus]
When I see your face
There’s not a thing that I would change
‘Cause you’re amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile
The whole world stops and stares for a while
‘Cause boy you’re amazing
Just the way you are

The way you are
The way you are

** hope u like it...^_^

Glee - Marry You Full Video

baby...just say "i do" and i promise everything will by fine....i'll hold ur hand tight whenever anything happens.....

another painless day.....

these thing keep on bordering me....

y people can nt just forgot about the past?

y we human need so much memories in mind especially the sad stuff?

y can't v just live happily in out world?

y want me to remember all those sad things?

y the word" giving up" in my mind is so painful?

y do things happen de only regret?

y can i do the right thing in the first place?

y forgiveness is so hard?

y loving some1 kills so much?

y jealousy existed?

and so on so on so many y-'s......

without the past there will have no future

things will change if time passes

things will come bck for what u did b4

things dun seem to be easy as it looks like

giving up is sad because u r letting go something precious

sadness always make people grow

regretting always makes us learn a new lesson

love kills because the person truly cares

jealousy existed because hoping u r always be beside the only her

and so on so on for answering the y-'s....

i hope with all these thing will always give me a wake up call b4 i do something....

i hope things will change better( wat i always hope for)

i hope no one will get between us if i'm apart from u

i hope after all these i will be happily with u

i hope for much more thing...but i noe i can nt have all.....

still hoping for the best....^_^

happy.....

today i felt happy, warm and touch... although he didn't did anything special but a thank you from him make me felt i'm being appreciate....i really really do felt happy...i wish i will also be there when u needed....feed u full when i'm not around and hopefully make u feel happy! ^_^

p/s: i need to thank u Ms. kenix lim's "lao gong" for giving me the idea to make him full....( although v didn't chat b4)...hehehe....

just want to be simple with "U"...^_^

我要的，

有个人和我一起吃饭，

只要开开心心的，

路边摊一样可以吃的很满足。

我要的，

手牵手、快快乐乐的一起去压马路。

我要的，

每写一篇日志、写一个心情，有个人，始终在我身边看着我感慨万千，

给我回复，回应着我的感受，

让整个世界都知道，

我们

很幸福很幸福。

我要的，

在我难过的时候，什么话都可以给那个你说。

一句亲爱的，别难过，你还有我。

心里的难过就会好很多很多，

因为我知道，

有个人在我的身后默默的支持我、关心我。

我要的，

在我孤单的时候，有个人给我发发短信，让我听听你的声音。

这对我来说，比什么有趣的书、好玩的游戏都重要，都能让我欣慰。

因为我知道，

有个人，虽然不能见我、陪着我，

但是心里却一直在挂念我。

我要的，

一声叮嘱、一声关爱、 一句问候。

吃饭了么？饿了么？累了么？

其实，

对我都是珍贵的、暖暖的。

我发誓永远都不会嫌这样的你啰嗦。

一句我们一起，什么困难我都能扛下去。

其实，

在我心里都会荡漾出最幸福的涟漪。

我不要温柔的甜言蜜语、不要海枯石烂的誓言。

我要的，

只是一个紧紧的无声拥抱；

只是要一只能牢牢牵住我、不会随便丢掉的小手。

我不要你每一分钟都陪着我，

你也有你的生活，我不想干涉你太多。

我要的，

只是你能够相信我，

说得出就能做得到的行动，

温暖着我的心底、充满幸福的滋味。

很多感触、很多感动。

我都放在了我的心里慢慢的回味，

一条关怀的短信、一声电话骚扰。

其实，

都是我在想你的表现。

你懂吗？我想要的仅此而已…

未来的未来，未知未觉。

迷茫的彷徨，期待的不可预知。

没有信誓旦旦，没有笃信和永远的保证。

一双手，暖暖的牵着。

十指，牢牢的交叉。

相信。

房子，那是一个温暖的家，而不是豪华的奢侈。

车子，交通的代步。

慢慢来。

存款，不用太多，并不是富二代才会幸福！

两个人一起为未来奋斗，平淡也温馨。

不曾羡慕房子、车子、票子，

一起规划的将来，更有保障…

当然，前提是我们也不会无家可归。

简简单单、手牵手。

我并不脱俗，相反，

世俗的现实。

我并不可爱，也会烦人、也会任性的无理取闹。

只是，

知道会有个声音告诉我:

在我的眼里，你就是我的整个世界！

一世年华。 一生淡定。

found this in facebook....it really shows wat i wanted the life with u.....^_^

love should be simple.....n nice...^_^

feelings for today.....

today not much happens to me....being kinda of moody, normal these days....i suddenly feel like there is many things bothering my heart, my mind....make me feel uncomfortable.....but i dun noe how to express it out....when i wanted to say it out....is like nothing to say already.....i still have assignments to rush....things that need to remember, take care of....but i dun think i'm worried a bout them...i feel relax n not much pressure out of my assignment......may be because of "him" i dun noe????

hope i feeling the right way....^_^

如果可以 , 我希望可以怎么吵架都不分手

i saw this note from my facebook and i also share it there. i also share it in my blog because i want to remember the things this person wrote was right.

我们并不完美 . 也许很多小事你没注意到 我就突然开始计较 .

其实我只是希望你把过去都删掉和我重新开始 , 毕竟看着那些我会觉得现在你对我做的会不会对她们也做过

我还想我们之间保留隐私但不可以有谎言 , 我们要走那么远的路中间如果都是秘密那我们走不远就会累 或者被秘密分成两条道路

我不能保证我们都不犯错 , 但是我们吵架不要隔夜 . 我们是别人羡慕的小两口儿 . 我们没有什么事不能再半小时内解决掉的

我们都会委屈 , 很多时候我说不出口那句对不起 所以口是心非 . 如果我真的不能退步 你要退一步 因为我们要永远在一起

我们都有过去 我希望那不是干涉我们的理由 不是成为我们吵架的导火索 所以我介意你保留那些

我还希望我们周围的人不要总是提起对方的过去 .就算真的没什么了 我们心里都不舒服

我知道做一个好女朋友在家里怎么不讲理都可以 但是在外面要给你留足了面子 所以我以后不在当着外人冲你嚷对你发脾气了 有事儿我们回家说

你说吵架了多想想对方的好 . 嗯……我不但要想你怎么对我好的 还要想以后我们怎么好

实在不成以后我们一想吵架 就攒着 留着等一起出门逛街了买东西砍价跟商家叨叨去

真的很容易因为彼此心里太委屈就提分手 . 那不是爱的不够深 而是害怕自己会受伤 想给对方自由

现在你在我身边 . 以后也会在我身边 . 不管怎么吵架我们都会在一起 .

因为我们在一起不容易 因为我们已经成熟了 因为我们懂得责任 因为我们爱对方都胜过爱自己 .

after reading this i realize how he felt, is not that he love me not deep enough is just he scare getting hurt again and wanted to give himself some freedom for now. i wish things will go smoothly between us and hoping for the best....^_^

taylor swift's "mine"

i took this part for the lyrics because i really it does mean it and i also feel the same thing....

I was a flight risk with the fear of fallin
'Wonderin' why we bother with love if it never lasts
I say "Can you believe it?"
As we're lyin' on the couch
The moment I can see it Yes, yes I can see it now
(lyrics from taylor swift's "mine")

y v care if the love does even last? true right? if it doesn't last y we still do so much thing to maintain it, agree v me? but sometimes love need times....i'm not really sure bout it cos i have lost it be4 and i dun noe i can have it bck or nt.....

although i can see it....but dun even noe it will come true or not....or it is just a vision?...hahaha....

dun noe the decision i've make is right or not but at least i will not regret in the future.....nothing is impossible.....hahaha....everyone always say this but sometimes it is really hard to believe it....hahahaha......

hope everything goes smoothly......^_^

toy story 3

i just watch Toy Story 3 (although is a bit late....hehehe）it was a funny, meaningful and touching story.....it remain me a lot of my toys.....i didn't really take good care of them and in the end they got gave away to my relative children.....i kinda of miss some remaining stuff toys at my hometown.....>_<

toys r really important to us....may not all of us...but to me....they are quite important....they really bring back childhood memories where last time i used to have Barbie doll nite out v my fren....how v dress them up nicely....and i also have some stuff toys where i always like to hug them sleep together.....they can also be the close friend of out life time where all the time they will be by our side when v need them.....they can also be good in keeping secret....all our secret that v told to our toys will be totally save with them.....although they will not respond us when v needed some opinion but in the sense they will always support us no matter what v choose.....

from that movie....i will really appreciate my toys when they come bck to me and will always past them to my future children so that they will always be by my side....

TOYs....i love u....muah!!!

happy moon cake festival.....^_^

ei....today i'm not really talking bout moon cake festival because i think i'm not celebrate it because my friends all look so bc.....hahaha....may be later i will buy the moon cake i like to eat to make it a day....hehehe.....

today nothing quite special happen to me but a friend's words and advise totally change what i am thinking.....i really need to thankz him for spending the afternoon chatting v me, sharing his experience....i really felt thank full to him.....and very great full to myself....hahaha.....

tomorrow will another great day to explore.....^_^

day 28.....

today was the day of our presentation.....af first was a bit nervous because of not enough sleep....hahaha...just slept that one hour plus only......really very tired that time....we are the first group to present that time because they wanted to be the first want.....hahaha.....so everything goes smoothly as it should be and v did a good job in presenting it because the lecture do understand how i works....hahaha....other groups is also not bad.....but suddenly i felt confident that our group will be chosen to be construct in real life.....i think i will be very happy to c the real thing......

later i didn't went for the afternoon class because i was damn sleepy.....can nt even move after having lunch....hahaha....me and Shirley slept quite long but i was being awake by the lighting where i was really scary......the sound was very loud...my heart was pounding like it lost control but i can still take it.....later i continue to sleep and there was this most horrible part came and that is having this super super night mare..... i totally wake me where i though i was really screaming and crying loudly but i actually didn't happen.....the dream is my bf reply my email and suddenly say he wanted to broke up and saying things like becoming friend is much better......there is also some pic but is not bout us ....is totally some random pic.....at that time i cry very loudly where i really thought it really happen but in reality it doesn't.....this really scare me......i dun want this to happen and i hope this dream will not come back for me because i do not want it to come true.....not ever.....

be.....just like what i wrote for u in msn....i really mean it....please dun stop me....u remember i didn't stop u from chasing me back so please dun stop me....i do not want to regret for the rest of my life....i know what am i doing so don't worry of anything.....i can handle my studies very well......if u want me to stop thinking about u.....than y not u just kill me .....that way i will not have any worries.....and another thing is.....although what had happen u r always my boy friend, my love one.....no other man can get me because i'm urs......i'm not available except for u.....u remember there is part of u body that belongs to me and i have something that belongs to u......kekekeke.....so u dun try to run away from me because i'll sure will be the one chaising u.....wahahahaha......and i found out something that i felt what i say to u and promise to u, u like dun take it seriously and showing like i'm just saying it, playing with it........* I CAN SAY TO U THAT I AM VERY DAMN SERIOUS ABOUT IT.....BECAUSE GOD HAD GIVING ME A LAST CHANCE TO MAKING THINGS RIGHT...... I PROMISE I WILL GET U BACK AND I ALSO PROMISE TO MYSELF I WILL NOT LOSE MY STUDIES......PEOPLE CAN HANDLE IT SO DO I BECAUSE I AM SPECIAL.....WAHAHAHAHA......* BE....I LOVE U.....

day 27.....

today hold day i was working on group project on this interesting topic.....using biosphere as the theme of the furniture.....it is quite a meaningful project because it teaches us to used things that can be recycle or can not be recycle as our material for the furniture design. interesting right?

And now v r still preparing for the presentation....the other thing is when they like ur idea they will take it for entering the MSID contest......if v did chosen for the contest is of cos good if not we also did out best for it.....^_^

than this thing came to mind when i saw his MSN personal saying about room cleaning process.....it is very normal to clean a room when is messy right but to me i suddenly think that will he take my stuff and throw away? will him keep my stuff in a box and never to c them again or throw to my brother place like a meaning of nv ever to c them again.....arhhhhhh.....i began to worry.....started to feel scare.....when i was very confident on working on a plan and i was totally being effected.....but i tell myself to calm down because there have something more important to worry of....and then i just let it go and stop thinking about it......because he still have me in his heart...i think....hehehe......

baby...wait for me surprises coming to u ya.....muah!!!! 　

Lady Anterellum - Need you now....

This song really express a lot of feelings of mine.....when i hear this song i always thing of.....she is singing to feelings out from my heart.....this is a very meaningful to listen and i like it very much....

Lady Anterellum - Need you now....

Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor ( the memories of me and you)

Reachin' for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore (missing u so badly)

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind (wondering will you think of me at this time)
For me it happens all the time ( missing u every time)

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now (this what my heart is telling......)
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now ( i scare i will lose u)
And I don't know how I can do without ( sometimes i really wish u where there for me)
I just need you now

Another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door (always waiting at the door way hoping u will come)

Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now ( i wish i was drunk hoping to c you there by my side)
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

woah woaaah.

Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin' at all (it better to have this feeling than nothing )

It's a quarter after one I'm all alone and I need you now

And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now

And I don't know how I can do without

I just need you now

I just need you now (wait)

Ooo, baby, I need you now (Baby, i wanted u bck so much)

day 26....

just finish my early breakfast and group discussion with my classmates.....i already predict that he will not come yesterday and it really came true.....what i wish it would happen it wouldn't happen....the other way what i wish it will not happen it happened....there is nothing more i can say.....suddenly i felt like i'm like forcing a cow to move and we know that how stubborn cow is.....if i force him to come, he will leave me more .....i think i really should give him time to be alone......or not i scare he will not come back to me and felt that i am very annoying and hate me even more......may be this is the way to make things right for awhile....

BE....if u r reading my blog....i would like to say sorry that i didn't even give u the time to rest and enjoy ur holiday.....i noe i am annoying these days it is because i miss u so much that i can not even control and think properly....from now on i will stop calling you, disturb u in msn.....if u really want to chat i'm always there to lean my heart n my ear for u.....my door is always open for u when u need me.....remember to take care and i'm always there for u.....i love u......

day 25.....

today i slept in 8 something a.m. because i totally can not sleep.....my mind is full of him inside.....today i also ask him to come because not just i want to c him but i also have some stuff with him especial my previous work that i need to email to my lecture studies for further studies...although i have not much confident in whether i can make it or not but there is a chance and y not i just try my luck....same towards my relationship, i still have chance to make things right and why not i just do my best to make him mine again....why not? talking like this shows that i'm like very confident but deep inside i'm not.....i still scare i will lose and got rejected.....

many friends of mine supported me no matter how hards it takes.....everytime i ask do i still have the chance....they sure will say if u got the heart there is always a chance for everything.....i believe in that because i have the heart to do so....i believe i have the heart he one day will be touch by me....wahahaha.....already imagining things already......may be he will cry....hahaha.....

i just want to get things right and do whatever i can.....be.....wait n c.....muahahaha......

day 24....

i wish to write something on this day but......is hard for me.....i really wish time can turn back and i will not do stupid mistake.....i really do not want to lose him.....but i can not do anything for now because he is now became like what i am before.....losing faith....if i'm still staying in the same area with him i sure will go find him no matter what just like he never let go of me.....but now....i dun think i can do so....i really wish tomorrow he will come find me and i will convince him and give confident to him and prove to him that all these time i will not let go of him no matter what had happen.....hope my friend out there will support me no matter what had happen......be....i will love u no matter what.....i will chaise u back no matter what it takes.....u will always be mine......hope the best for tomorrow......

day 23...

now is 6:27 am....i think all must have woke up for work and some ready for schooling and i think some still sleeping but me....haven sleep yet because went to port Dickson celebrate my buddy bday's.....

v when out on our on 6 something pm......than reach there bout 9 something i think.....it was also my first time to go port dickson....port dickson as i noe is not just one beach there....v only went to the beach where one of my friend went before and she say there can consider quite a nice beach to have bbq....the sand there was white and soft....was really comfortable to walk with.....when v reach there, there already have other people having bbq there.....v also went to choose a nice place to settle our stuff.....

after setting our stuff than v began to start fire.....i always like to help to built up the fire because when u success to raise the fire u will felt very happy that everyone get to bbq their food.....it is also good for arm exerciser because i have flappy arm .....hehehe.....when v are raising the fire than came some officer and v saw the other group who was bbq before us starting to pack their stuff and that time i was thinking that is it they came to stop us from using public place ? will they ask us to pack our stuff back.....a bit worry....but they just came and saw us v our stove and just tell us the keep the place clean after using it.....cos they say they have CCTV watching us....this is the funny part when one of my cute friend ask the officer is it the CCTV on the tree but the officer didn't reply anything......v felt very curios because there dun seem to have anything that look like a CCTV....hahahaha.....funny that my cute friend ask that question.....

later all goes well, the fire get to raise up successfully and they all started to bbq their food....at first i was worried bout the chicken wing that i marinated , scare that wherether it had taste or not or even worse taste bad....but the result came out not bad....hahaha....but i still need to improve my skills on it so that next time i will haven prefect marinated chicken wings so that everybody get to eat until finger licking good.......hahahaha

than some of us went out for a walk beside the beach after a heavy meal.....enjoying the cool breeze....letting the mind that is full of things that are not even worth worry about left it a side....calm and cool....everything went very well until 3 am something v say good bye to p.d. and gone back to k.l. it was quite lucky that it does rain when we were having bbq and it rain when v are going back k.l.

conclusion bout the trip i can say it was enjoying and quite fresh to me because it was my first time to go somewhere far just to bbq....hahaha....and the other thing is i'm quite jealous of the birthday gal because how she wanted to celebrate her birthday get to go one smoothly with out any rejection....as for me i always didn't get to celebrate the way i wanted because there was really many rejection and also dun have "the people" who willing to put effort for it.....thats why i'm really jealous of her.....but i of cause will try to get what i wanted in the future so that i will not jealous others but letting others jealous of me....wahahahaha.....i also wish i have that day.....

p/s: pictures will be upload as soon as possible....hahaha

day 22...

today i woke up quite early bout 12 something....y i say quite early because normally i woke up bout 2 something in the afternoon because last night i also sleep quite late bout 2 something a.m. Than making branch for my friend and also myself because all of haven ate something....so i went on preparing ingredients for my own recipes for mash potato....although is nothing special in it...but it taste nice...... luckily it was all gone when the part of my friends just woke up....hahaha...

after having my branch i go on having a bit ice cream from my friend because i want to eat ice cream so badly since yesterday night...hahaha...because having ice cream especially those nice ones will make people happier....hehehe....don't u agree v me?
my mood now became much more better and i start to put "things" down ....not to letting it go just wanted to control myself from being very emotional....

suddenly i got this msg from my cousin sister that one of my uncle had past away....i was kinda of shock....his son just past away a few months ago and now he went off....hardly believe it but it is true....my memories for this uncle is not much but i remember he also treat me quite good when i was small that time....than i remember how he make fun of my brother and also sometimes asking very stupid question to me....is not very good memories...hahaha....but may be the way he care for other is different that we do not really understand or accept it.....but now he is gone....people that care bout us is stating to go one by one....this year i edi lost three people beside me.....or may be it should be four include "him"....i wish it will stop...i do not know how much i can lose....i just wish people that care the most will not leave me.....to many people out there....cherries the people when they are still alive.....

later i will be goin to port Dickson to celebrate my buddy's bday....hope every thing goes well and i how i have something interesting to write.....wish me happiness and safety.... ^_^

the 21 day.....

this is the 21 day i didn't met v him already.....it looks so short and to me it is already like half month to me....i noe i'm a bit too over bout it but when u miss a guys too much....one day also will feel like 10 days de.....

in these days, i have many flash bck on what i did.....sometimes i really to felt i'm wrong but may be because of me causes everything to drop.....but now i felt that what he has promise me was also a dream......nothing came real in the end....thats y sometimes dun trust dream come true is because of this.....this is like another replay for me....where everything goes like what had happen b4....if i'm really that bad...really that hard to take.....really that unhelpful.....y do u came bck for me?
giving me another chance to hurt myself again.....i felt very stupid....but now this became more worse where i have deeply in love with him that i scare i can nt pull myself out..... waiting is always a hard thing for where i can say myself is a inpatient people....i scare waiting will lost everything.... i scare when time past....i will start to forget bout something.....i will lost the feeling.....i scare i can nt take it......many frens is really supportive and they say if i do love him....give him time....he will come bck for u.....although i can promise happily but deep inside i'm scare.....i'm scare i lost the one i love so much......i scare i will regret......

he say something to me is that he wanted us to think what v wanted....sometimes i really think he dun understand me....i really wanted him to be by myside no matter better or worse.....i want to go though the hard time with him.....i want to share the happiness i have.....i want to work hard with him....i want us to graduate nicely....i want us to stay happy tgt....but i scare i can nt do it.....

being alone sometimes is really hard.....many things that normally he will take care for me is not there anymore.....i have to settle everything myself not that i rely him a lot but talking bout IT stuff he is the only guy i can rely on.....but i can nt find him because even he noe about it he didn't say he will fix it for me.....i'm a bit sad for it but what to do.....i can nt really rely him anymore.....i have frens take me to the computer shop to fix my laptop screen.....but i cost quite a lot.....although i do felt not worth it but nothing else i can do....just pay the person how much he charge for it and i will get bck it not long.....

these days i also quite independent by doin stuff myself.....although sometimes my frens do help.....but at least i starting to think least bout the sad stuff.....making myself bc as much as possible....make my days as much plans as possible... and i also did something that i rarely did for these few years......i deleted his contact num, previous msg, email contact, friend list.......not because i hate him or anything.....just i dun not want to miss him, felt sad until i can nt stand up.....if he will come bck for me.....he will contact me no matter what.....if he do not....nothing much i can do because when times flows somethings v will forget.....hoping the best for me!!!>_<