toy story 3

i just watch Toy Story 3 (although is a bit late....hehehe）it was a funny, meaningful and touching story.....it remain me a lot of my toys.....i didn't really take good care of them and in the end they got gave away to my relative children.....i kinda of miss some remaining stuff toys at my hometown.....>_<

toys r really important to us....may not all of us...but to me....they are quite important....they really bring back childhood memories where last time i used to have Barbie doll nite out v my fren....how v dress them up nicely....and i also have some stuff toys where i always like to hug them sleep together.....they can also be the close friend of out life time where all the time they will be by our side when v need them.....they can also be good in keeping secret....all our secret that v told to our toys will be totally save with them.....although they will not respond us when v needed some opinion but in the sense they will always support us no matter what v choose.....

from that movie....i will really appreciate my toys when they come bck to me and will always past them to my future children so that they will always be by my side....

TOYs....i love u....muah!!!

happy moon cake festival.....^_^

ei....today i'm not really talking bout moon cake festival because i think i'm not celebrate it because my friends all look so bc.....hahaha....may be later i will buy the moon cake i like to eat to make it a day....hehehe.....

today nothing quite special happen to me but a friend's words and advise totally change what i am thinking.....i really need to thankz him for spending the afternoon chatting v me, sharing his experience....i really felt thank full to him.....and very great full to myself....hahaha.....

tomorrow will another great day to explore.....^_^

day 28.....

today was the day of our presentation.....af first was a bit nervous because of not enough sleep....hahaha...just slept that one hour plus only......really very tired that time....we are the first group to present that time because they wanted to be the first want.....hahaha.....so everything goes smoothly as it should be and v did a good job in presenting it because the lecture do understand how i works....hahaha....other groups is also not bad.....but suddenly i felt confident that our group will be chosen to be construct in real life.....i think i will be very happy to c the real thing......

later i didn't went for the afternoon class because i was damn sleepy.....can nt even move after having lunch....hahaha....me and Shirley slept quite long but i was being awake by the lighting where i was really scary......the sound was very loud...my heart was pounding like it lost control but i can still take it.....later i continue to sleep and there was this most horrible part came and that is having this super super night mare..... i totally wake me where i though i was really screaming and crying loudly but i actually didn't happen.....the dream is my bf reply my email and suddenly say he wanted to broke up and saying things like becoming friend is much better......there is also some pic but is not bout us ....is totally some random pic.....at that time i cry very loudly where i really thought it really happen but in reality it doesn't.....this really scare me......i dun want this to happen and i hope this dream will not come back for me because i do not want it to come true.....not ever.....

be.....just like what i wrote for u in msn....i really mean it....please dun stop me....u remember i didn't stop u from chasing me back so please dun stop me....i do not want to regret for the rest of my life....i know what am i doing so don't worry of anything.....i can handle my studies very well......if u want me to stop thinking about u.....than y not u just kill me .....that way i will not have any worries.....and another thing is.....although what had happen u r always my boy friend, my love one.....no other man can get me because i'm urs......i'm not available except for u.....u remember there is part of u body that belongs to me and i have something that belongs to u......kekekeke.....so u dun try to run away from me because i'll sure will be the one chaising u.....wahahahaha......and i found out something that i felt what i say to u and promise to u, u like dun take it seriously and showing like i'm just saying it, playing with it........* I CAN SAY TO U THAT I AM VERY DAMN SERIOUS ABOUT IT.....BECAUSE GOD HAD GIVING ME A LAST CHANCE TO MAKING THINGS RIGHT...... I PROMISE I WILL GET U BACK AND I ALSO PROMISE TO MYSELF I WILL NOT LOSE MY STUDIES......PEOPLE CAN HANDLE IT SO DO I BECAUSE I AM SPECIAL.....WAHAHAHAHA......* BE....I LOVE U.....

day 27.....

today hold day i was working on group project on this interesting topic.....using biosphere as the theme of the furniture.....it is quite a meaningful project because it teaches us to used things that can be recycle or can not be recycle as our material for the furniture design. interesting right?

And now v r still preparing for the presentation....the other thing is when they like ur idea they will take it for entering the MSID contest......if v did chosen for the contest is of cos good if not we also did out best for it.....^_^

than this thing came to mind when i saw his MSN personal saying about room cleaning process.....it is very normal to clean a room when is messy right but to me i suddenly think that will he take my stuff and throw away? will him keep my stuff in a box and never to c them again or throw to my brother place like a meaning of nv ever to c them again.....arhhhhhh.....i began to worry.....started to feel scare.....when i was very confident on working on a plan and i was totally being effected.....but i tell myself to calm down because there have something more important to worry of....and then i just let it go and stop thinking about it......because he still have me in his heart...i think....hehehe......

baby...wait for me surprises coming to u ya.....muah!!!! 　

Lady Anterellum - Need you now....

This song really express a lot of feelings of mine.....when i hear this song i always thing of.....she is singing to feelings out from my heart.....this is a very meaningful to listen and i like it very much....

Lady Anterellum - Need you now....

Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor ( the memories of me and you)

Reachin' for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore (missing u so badly)

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind (wondering will you think of me at this time)
For me it happens all the time ( missing u every time)

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now (this what my heart is telling......)
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now ( i scare i will lose u)
And I don't know how I can do without ( sometimes i really wish u where there for me)
I just need you now

Another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door (always waiting at the door way hoping u will come)

Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now ( i wish i was drunk hoping to c you there by my side)
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

woah woaaah.

Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin' at all (it better to have this feeling than nothing )

It's a quarter after one I'm all alone and I need you now

And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now

And I don't know how I can do without

I just need you now

I just need you now (wait)

Ooo, baby, I need you now (Baby, i wanted u bck so much)

day 26....

just finish my early breakfast and group discussion with my classmates.....i already predict that he will not come yesterday and it really came true.....what i wish it would happen it wouldn't happen....the other way what i wish it will not happen it happened....there is nothing more i can say.....suddenly i felt like i'm like forcing a cow to move and we know that how stubborn cow is.....if i force him to come, he will leave me more .....i think i really should give him time to be alone......or not i scare he will not come back to me and felt that i am very annoying and hate me even more......may be this is the way to make things right for awhile....

BE....if u r reading my blog....i would like to say sorry that i didn't even give u the time to rest and enjoy ur holiday.....i noe i am annoying these days it is because i miss u so much that i can not even control and think properly....from now on i will stop calling you, disturb u in msn.....if u really want to chat i'm always there to lean my heart n my ear for u.....my door is always open for u when u need me.....remember to take care and i'm always there for u.....i love u......

day 25.....

today i slept in 8 something a.m. because i totally can not sleep.....my mind is full of him inside.....today i also ask him to come because not just i want to c him but i also have some stuff with him especial my previous work that i need to email to my lecture studies for further studies...although i have not much confident in whether i can make it or not but there is a chance and y not i just try my luck....same towards my relationship, i still have chance to make things right and why not i just do my best to make him mine again....why not? talking like this shows that i'm like very confident but deep inside i'm not.....i still scare i will lose and got rejected.....

many friends of mine supported me no matter how hards it takes.....everytime i ask do i still have the chance....they sure will say if u got the heart there is always a chance for everything.....i believe in that because i have the heart to do so....i believe i have the heart he one day will be touch by me....wahahaha.....already imagining things already......may be he will cry....hahaha.....

i just want to get things right and do whatever i can.....be.....wait n c.....muahahaha......

day 24....

i wish to write something on this day but......is hard for me.....i really wish time can turn back and i will not do stupid mistake.....i really do not want to lose him.....but i can not do anything for now because he is now became like what i am before.....losing faith....if i'm still staying in the same area with him i sure will go find him no matter what just like he never let go of me.....but now....i dun think i can do so....i really wish tomorrow he will come find me and i will convince him and give confident to him and prove to him that all these time i will not let go of him no matter what had happen.....hope my friend out there will support me no matter what had happen......be....i will love u no matter what.....i will chaise u back no matter what it takes.....u will always be mine......hope the best for tomorrow......

day 23...

now is 6:27 am....i think all must have woke up for work and some ready for schooling and i think some still sleeping but me....haven sleep yet because went to port Dickson celebrate my buddy bday's.....

v when out on our on 6 something pm......than reach there bout 9 something i think.....it was also my first time to go port dickson....port dickson as i noe is not just one beach there....v only went to the beach where one of my friend went before and she say there can consider quite a nice beach to have bbq....the sand there was white and soft....was really comfortable to walk with.....when v reach there, there already have other people having bbq there.....v also went to choose a nice place to settle our stuff.....

after setting our stuff than v began to start fire.....i always like to help to built up the fire because when u success to raise the fire u will felt very happy that everyone get to bbq their food.....it is also good for arm exerciser because i have flappy arm .....hehehe.....when v are raising the fire than came some officer and v saw the other group who was bbq before us starting to pack their stuff and that time i was thinking that is it they came to stop us from using public place ? will they ask us to pack our stuff back.....a bit worry....but they just came and saw us v our stove and just tell us the keep the place clean after using it.....cos they say they have CCTV watching us....this is the funny part when one of my cute friend ask the officer is it the CCTV on the tree but the officer didn't reply anything......v felt very curios because there dun seem to have anything that look like a CCTV....hahahaha.....funny that my cute friend ask that question.....

later all goes well, the fire get to raise up successfully and they all started to bbq their food....at first i was worried bout the chicken wing that i marinated , scare that wherether it had taste or not or even worse taste bad....but the result came out not bad....hahaha....but i still need to improve my skills on it so that next time i will haven prefect marinated chicken wings so that everybody get to eat until finger licking good.......hahahaha

than some of us went out for a walk beside the beach after a heavy meal.....enjoying the cool breeze....letting the mind that is full of things that are not even worth worry about left it a side....calm and cool....everything went very well until 3 am something v say good bye to p.d. and gone back to k.l. it was quite lucky that it does rain when we were having bbq and it rain when v are going back k.l.

conclusion bout the trip i can say it was enjoying and quite fresh to me because it was my first time to go somewhere far just to bbq....hahaha....and the other thing is i'm quite jealous of the birthday gal because how she wanted to celebrate her birthday get to go one smoothly with out any rejection....as for me i always didn't get to celebrate the way i wanted because there was really many rejection and also dun have "the people" who willing to put effort for it.....thats why i'm really jealous of her.....but i of cause will try to get what i wanted in the future so that i will not jealous others but letting others jealous of me....wahahahaha.....i also wish i have that day.....

p/s: pictures will be upload as soon as possible....hahaha

day 22...

today i woke up quite early bout 12 something....y i say quite early because normally i woke up bout 2 something in the afternoon because last night i also sleep quite late bout 2 something a.m. Than making branch for my friend and also myself because all of haven ate something....so i went on preparing ingredients for my own recipes for mash potato....although is nothing special in it...but it taste nice...... luckily it was all gone when the part of my friends just woke up....hahaha...

after having my branch i go on having a bit ice cream from my friend because i want to eat ice cream so badly since yesterday night...hahaha...because having ice cream especially those nice ones will make people happier....hehehe....don't u agree v me?
my mood now became much more better and i start to put "things" down ....not to letting it go just wanted to control myself from being very emotional....

suddenly i got this msg from my cousin sister that one of my uncle had past away....i was kinda of shock....his son just past away a few months ago and now he went off....hardly believe it but it is true....my memories for this uncle is not much but i remember he also treat me quite good when i was small that time....than i remember how he make fun of my brother and also sometimes asking very stupid question to me....is not very good memories...hahaha....but may be the way he care for other is different that we do not really understand or accept it.....but now he is gone....people that care bout us is stating to go one by one....this year i edi lost three people beside me.....or may be it should be four include "him"....i wish it will stop...i do not know how much i can lose....i just wish people that care the most will not leave me.....to many people out there....cherries the people when they are still alive.....

later i will be goin to port Dickson to celebrate my buddy's bday....hope every thing goes well and i how i have something interesting to write.....wish me happiness and safety.... ^_^

the 21 day.....

this is the 21 day i didn't met v him already.....it looks so short and to me it is already like half month to me....i noe i'm a bit too over bout it but when u miss a guys too much....one day also will feel like 10 days de.....

in these days, i have many flash bck on what i did.....sometimes i really to felt i'm wrong but may be because of me causes everything to drop.....but now i felt that what he has promise me was also a dream......nothing came real in the end....thats y sometimes dun trust dream come true is because of this.....this is like another replay for me....where everything goes like what had happen b4....if i'm really that bad...really that hard to take.....really that unhelpful.....y do u came bck for me?
giving me another chance to hurt myself again.....i felt very stupid....but now this became more worse where i have deeply in love with him that i scare i can nt pull myself out..... waiting is always a hard thing for where i can say myself is a inpatient people....i scare waiting will lost everything.... i scare when time past....i will start to forget bout something.....i will lost the feeling.....i scare i can nt take it......many frens is really supportive and they say if i do love him....give him time....he will come bck for u.....although i can promise happily but deep inside i'm scare.....i'm scare i lost the one i love so much......i scare i will regret......

he say something to me is that he wanted us to think what v wanted....sometimes i really think he dun understand me....i really wanted him to be by myside no matter better or worse.....i want to go though the hard time with him.....i want to share the happiness i have.....i want to work hard with him....i want us to graduate nicely....i want us to stay happy tgt....but i scare i can nt do it.....

being alone sometimes is really hard.....many things that normally he will take care for me is not there anymore.....i have to settle everything myself not that i rely him a lot but talking bout IT stuff he is the only guy i can rely on.....but i can nt find him because even he noe about it he didn't say he will fix it for me.....i'm a bit sad for it but what to do.....i can nt really rely him anymore.....i have frens take me to the computer shop to fix my laptop screen.....but i cost quite a lot.....although i do felt not worth it but nothing else i can do....just pay the person how much he charge for it and i will get bck it not long.....

these days i also quite independent by doin stuff myself.....although sometimes my frens do help.....but at least i starting to think least bout the sad stuff.....making myself bc as much as possible....make my days as much plans as possible... and i also did something that i rarely did for these few years......i deleted his contact num, previous msg, email contact, friend list.......not because i hate him or anything.....just i dun not want to miss him, felt sad until i can nt stand up.....if he will come bck for me.....he will contact me no matter what.....if he do not....nothing much i can do because when times flows somethings v will forget.....hoping the best for me!!!>_<

this sucks!!!!

have u ever like someone that dun like u?.....have u ever missed someone badly but in the end u felt not Worth missing?....have ever felt pain in ur heart that no one will understand?....have u ever felt a jerk to urself?.....have u ever felt stupid of wat u did b4?.....have u ever ......i guess anyone out there who have this kind of feelings will feel the same as me .....THIS SUCKS!!!!!

NO MORE WAITING!
NO MORE LEFT BEHIND!
NO MORE HURTING!
NO MORE STUPID FEELINGS!
NO MORE INSULTING!
NO MORE CRYING!

NO MORE...NO MORE....NO MORE!!!!!!

I'm tired of it already.....i want to fight for my own happiness not suffering because of those stupid people.....this is the last call for me....if i dun wake up no one will wake me....readers and friend out there please so support me.....i really need u guys by my side.....i will stand bck up and continue my journey...