weird day weird feelingz.....

today should be like every normal fridays where i will go for class for until five but today i didn't went for morning class but went for mr. louise class.....but i didn't sit in the class to do work but in the library the borrow some books for research then i have best buddy come n teman me( act cos not enought socket only she came de...kekeke...jk ya) then i was very concentrate on doin sketching on my perspective view...is quite ok but i still need to improve in it...kekeke

later i also have a good conversation v my lect mr.louise....he is quite a good listener for a lect....then there is something tat not didn't happen b4 happen....quite secret....people close to me only will noe...kekeke...then he is always tat helpful, encourage me cos i'm always lack of confident....when he ask me y i'm lack of comfident...act i really dun noe...many things came to my mind...but i still dun noe which is the true reason....then after talking v my best buddy...she also dun noe in the first place cos i also dun noe but she just say may b cos of this or that lor...but came to think everything is like have the chance to be the one....then in the end...final answer is "ME"....i also thought of that but not tat sure but now i can tat is the main reason.....but my best buddy always say this and i think is rite....dun worry bout the past,cause there is a reason they didn't make it to your future....i should really let go of my past and start a new one....cos i have new frens and still my best pal always b by my side when i need them....i have good lect supporting me when i have difficulty.... there are noting much i wish for cos they r always the best....^.^

lost..found and still lost...>.<

another day bein confuse and down....i edi though of wat i wanted to do and everthing is in my mind....but y i still can not project it out....everyone is moving fast n faster than me....i'm still like a turtle slowly crawling at the back....i dun have the "uom" in me....i can not be like tat de...i must force myself no matter wat....but can i really do it.....can i really force myself woth nothing holding me bck....can i? who can tell me wherether i really can? act i edi noe what my fren will say...now one can say u can or not cos they are not me....only me myself only can noe wherether i can or not...hahaha....i asking n answering myself...i noe i can but i just felt not enough confident....but i still have to make some move to gain it....no one will give it to me but i can get it myself....wow...i can not believe i saying such things but i dun really do wat i say...it does not match...kekeke...cos not everyone do as wat they say.....include me...wat i say is right n i noe it...i have to b positive and then i will follow wat my mind thinks...then they will always match....

i think the big problem to myself is thinking too much....think all those negative things....think all those stupid thing....i can say i'm not satisfied...no human will b satisfied for wat they have...one day u still live....u sure will want something in ur life....money,prefect love,happy family,carrier and so on....when u have it u sure wish for the best....everything is not enough...hoping it can be better....when u hope...some things u can achive the best and some u can not...cos is not just u is u n your other half....i noe i wanting too much...but human is human....i just wish time can goes bck where everything just started...cos tat will be the most happiest moment with him.... cos until how i can felt the real happiness in me....

i noe now i starting to change...but not sure how i'm gona change into...but always trying to change into a strong gal....cos i noe i'm not.....

tonite will be a good nite...^.^

tonite i think i can get some sleep cos i felt relief....relief of finally get contact v him again....af first i thought will felt strange cos edi long time no contact de but when he calls i just can talk v him naturally....then v just have some sot coversation, asking the same thing between us how r v doin these days bla bla bla.......finally overcome something in my heart n my heart just felt like it can fly...kekeke...can tell he still the same old him but dun noe is he changing good or even woirse....hope he is doin fine la....kekeke....

today i didn't do anywork n is a bad bad thing......must boost up tomorrow....

sleepless nitez...>.<

at this time...348 in the morning i should be sleeping but i can't sleep although i'm tired...something bothering me these days....when someone is bzing v his work i should be ok v it but i felt not ok....i felt something is wrong v me...i should be considerate bout him...but when i saw something he did v his fc frens....i'm a bit small minded de...although nothing is there but i felt like is not fair....may be cos of jealousy...wtf...me bein jealous of some other thing tat i should not n nothing to b jealous about but me is me ...i can be sensitive in sometimes when u dun think i care but act i care..... haizzz...me is like tat....change de also like tat...now a days people r turning to like other people for not who they are but wat they change into....things happen to me n it also happen to others....the world is always tat cruel....where is no such thing as happy ever after in this world.....hahaha...tats is y i always believe in fairy tales althougt it will not come true but to let me feel happy bout it...hahaha...i also dun noe wat i'm talking here...kekeke....

another thing is i had this weird feeling bout my exx....me n him's story is like damn long time ago althougt v still remain as fren but is those no contact tat kind...act i also noe he is those kind of play boy type...but if just bein fren is ok v him....i edi long time didn't meet him or contact him cos if i do so people will think i still can not let go of him or i still like him but i can say no way it will happen again althought he didn't treat me bad or wat la...kekeke....things when strange when i saw my frens pic...it should be just she n her classmates only...but suddenly he shows up in the pic...i was like very shock n asking y he is there...there is no way he should be there...then asking again is he dating any gals there or is he dating my fren...i was like OMG n asking to myself y i care n i asking so much stupid question...if he is so there is nothing to do v me wat....but something ur mouth says does not mean ur heart n mind r thinking the same....to say the truth...when i saw him in the pic i kind of miss him....but not like want to be bck v him....just like want to noe how is he doin rite now something like tat....tats y when i'm alone many things will happen....the same nite i also dream of him n in tat dream i'm like very close fren v him...then end up headache the nxt morning...wtf...y i saw his anything i will bcome so uneasy?y when i saw him he just come bck to my mind?y i asking so much stupid question bout him?he is nothing to me but y?y?if i have no exes it would b better cos dun have this stupid kind of thing will happen...haizzzzzz.....

missed the time v have ......

dun noe y suddenly wanted to write my blog....act is there was nothing happen these few days....just i have one lect he is really a very great lect....he can even noe ur character from u writing n the thing u did....damn rite when he say bout me....kekeke...i like him very much n hope to like him one day but i dun noe y i'm like not enought comfident to be like him althought nothing is imposibble....

act i have some other thing tat i wish i can get advise from him...but i'm thinking is it too personal,will him have nothing to say when i told him bout this thing inside my heart for so long tat i act untill now tat i can not let it down....i really wanted some advise from some one to tell me wat should i do to solve this problem i have for so long....can not even feel rite even when i'm really rite...

the title missed the time v have is bout me n my bf....in the past v were like spendding too much time tgt.....but when come to now...when out time table clash....when he is bcing his assignment n i'm v mine....kind of spend less time tgt....so when the time v can finally be tgt is the most relieve time i ever felt....u can felt another part of ur heart has come bck for u....then u felt so in love....kekeke....happy to say this .....our heart will always have the other part will us....it is good tat i can when i'm in other place....i will not b so sad when apart with him cos i always noe he will always inside my heart n he will always put me inside his heart no matter wat.......kekeke...but if i can solve the problem.....it will be the happiest n relieve day i ever have...... good nite v luv ^.^