lost..found and still lost...>.<

another day bein confuse and down....i edi though of wat i wanted to do and everthing is in my mind....but y i still can not project it out....everyone is moving fast n faster than me....i'm still like a turtle slowly crawling at the back....i dun have the "uom" in me....i can not be like tat de...i must force myself no matter wat....but can i really do it.....can i really force myself woth nothing holding me bck....can i? who can tell me wherether i really can? act i edi noe what my fren will say...now one can say u can or not cos they are not me....only me myself only can noe wherether i can or not...hahaha....i asking n answering myself...i noe i can but i just felt not enough confident....but i still have to make some move to gain it....no one will give it to me but i can get it myself....wow...i can not believe i saying such things but i dun really do wat i say...it does not match...kekeke...cos not everyone do as wat they say.....include me...wat i say is right n i noe it...i have to b positive and then i will follow wat my mind thinks...then they will always match....

i think the big problem to myself is thinking too much....think all those negative things....think all those stupid thing....i can say i'm not satisfied...no human will b satisfied for wat they have...one day u still live....u sure will want something in ur life....money,prefect love,happy family,carrier and so on....when u have it u sure wish for the best....everything is not enough...hoping it can be better....when u hope...some things u can achive the best and some u can not...cos is not just u is u n your other half....i noe i wanting too much...but human is human....i just wish time can goes bck where everything just started...cos tat will be the most happiest moment with him.... cos until how i can felt the real happiness in me....

i noe now i starting to change...but not sure how i'm gona change into...but always trying to change into a strong gal....cos i noe i'm not.....