A letter to Mummy ...

today i hear my mom telling her story bck when she was just got married, and she was in a family, how relative are bck then.....it was a sad and depressing story...she really scarified so much for the family yet no one appreciate her and she was hurt like a thousand needle or even more poking through her heart until she felt numb....it was really sad to hear that...i saw my mom crying when she tell her story....when her tears fell, my tears began to fell....i was really touch of what she had did all these time....she protect us when v needed, take care of no matter how she was.....it was really hard for her back then.....

Now we had all grow up, we have our own life but i swear i will bring better life for her and will not let anything harm her no matter what....I WILL and I MUST.....I want to be success so that one day i want to take my mom to travel....she did get the chance to do so become she dun have income and my dad will not waste money for it....i swear....i will always be there for u no matter what happen...MUMMY, I LOVE U!!!!!

totally lost in mind...

i'm kinda of lost in my mind....starting to think what is right what is wrong...what i should what i shouldn't ..... things that i felt is right but came out disappointing me ....kinda sad to felt tat way....i really don't noe is it the truth? i'm always following my heart more than my mind....kinda of stupid to be someone like me ....tats y always easy to believe people, fall for people and some other stupid stuff.....this is my so-called weakness...sometimes is good to follow u heart...but sometimes u really need to think rationally...when will i really learn and change....i know it will not be prefect but at least things will not came out sadly and disappointing . T_T

i edi got a job at SSF but not very sure my position is....cos the manager will change me here and there to c which part suit me ....i'm now located at the handicraft department there thinking ideas to decorate stuff especially those unsellable product....hahaha....cos if the limited stuff i sometimes need to servers customers , measure clove and ribbons....i just work for three days but i edi felt like i haven find what i want....am i too fast or what....hahaha....but is a good experience where i get to know many kinds of material for decoration....tool...accessories.....the peoples needs.... i surely will not stay there for long because i still have my dream to achieves....hopefully things goes well....so are to my buddy out there that is working...hope the same to them too...^^

attention gurls...when free to gather? miss u guys so much...^^

oww man!!!!

friends ? lovers? this is really OWWW MAN!!!!

just read one of my besties blog...really felt OWWW MAN!!!! i didn't get to join to party due to money issue...damn poor that time...after watching the post she had post and some pic also really felt that they had fun that time....they look so damn gorgeous until i also beh tahan...hahaha...but i can nt stop my heart from saying I'M JEALOUS de...haha.....other than that deep inside i still care bout them and miss them too...may be i dun noe how to arrange my time for them, make them felt i abandon them or in other way, i being left out....sad right? T_T

for the lovers part, i just got an answer from him...FINALLY...but dun noe why i felt like not enough...haha...i'm always wanting more from him...at least what i have gave out finally have a good return...i think so...hahaha...hope this will last till the end...^^

ATTENTION BUDDIES OUT THERE(U NOE WHO U R): SORRY FOR LEFT OUT U GUYS FOR SO LONG DUE TO MY PERSONAL ISSUE,I THINK U GUYS SURE NOE, I HOPE I CAN REPLACE TO U GUYS...WITHOUT U GUYS, I CAN NT STAND TILL NOW...I CAN NT EVEN BEEN SITTING HERE TYING MY BLOG. U GUYS R IMPORTANT TO ME AND I CAN NT EVEN BARE TO LOSE U GUYS...THANK YOU GUYS FOR EVERYTHING...I NOE I'M NOT REALLY THAT GOOD FRIEND OF URS, NT BEING THERE WHEN U GUYS NEEDED, NT HAVING FUN WHEN U GUYS WANTED...SORRY FOR BEING SUCH A BADASS....

fire works....

the song titled FIRE WORKS by KATY PERRY. i bet everyone knows this songs, but for the first time today i saw this video mtv, at first this song gave the msg of some love stories something like that , but after watching the mtv, it is actually about everyones heart and what they dream of.

Everyones heart have their own dream and thats makes everyone different from each other, original, one in the kind...its telling us do v have the guts to take that step and make it come true...

after hearing the song, watching the mtv, makes me think that where is my fire works? now everybody have their own ways, started to go in to what they wanted to go, their target in something. But me, i dun really have my target, lost, dun noe where i should go...hopefully one day i will find something that my heart will be like a fire works always bursting out different colours, giving people surprise every time....that is what i wish for...hopefully i noe where am i goin for...^^

SENTENCE ON THE DAY:

WE CAN HAVE MANY DREAMS, MANY AIMS BUT WHICH IS THE ONE THAT ACTUALLY BE THE ONE THAT BURST OUT COLOURS, LIKE A FIRE WORKS? AGREE?

I'm WICKED....HEHEHEEEEE....

Today is like sitting in a roller coaster...moving up and down....heart beat also from fast to slow....

i didn't get to finish my stuff so to9 still need to rush up...>_<...SAD...tomorrow sure let the lecture scold de....hmmmm...i'm sure will be stung by "hidden words" form him again....hate it!!!

but today i also felt happy cos i have him v me...teman me all the time...although he always want to scold me for every time last minit...but v him by my side...although he bising a lot but i still felt save and no worries when he is beside me....i didn't expect to get anything from him...but today i got chocolates from him....i was happy....he like noe what is the best time to present me...

because this moment i really need his support and care...

this is the one he gave me...strawberries chocolates..it smells nice and of cos taste nice...not too sweet not too bitter...just ok.......

i was really weird that y he choose such wording for the tin box...am i really that wicked?....how come i myself also dun noe....hahaha....from today i saw him as a quite happy person where he talks a lot, sharing a lot of stuff to me that makes me feel so secured being with him...hearing the thing that he said i can spend the hold day doing nothing just for him....

todays sentence of the day: Can LOVE be as easy as it looks like?

agree?

找死的我。。。。

DEAD LINE is around the conner,

presentation is on Thursday,

tomorrow need to print out so that can PIN up,

and wat am i doing now...BLOGGING!!!

我是不在找死。。。。哈哈！！！

So long didn't visit my another buddy's blog and suddenly i went over to VISIT,

Looks i have been missed out is happening around her,

but i'm happy and 放心 that she is ok and happy,

although she is a bit emo and moody sometimes,

but overall she is fine,

can eat, can sleep, can laugh, can be happy,

so consider ok la....^^

i kinda misses her too,

but mostly i'm JEALOUS of her,

am i really a person that jealous easily,

i admit, YES!!!

Knowing her had a such great bf makes me sooooo ENVY her,

another side also happy for her la...cos her bf treat her well and she is happy^^

nothing to say d....cos of too JEALOUS d... MISS KENIX LIM..... wahahahaha...

another thing i wanted to blog is every time i read her blog really makes me felt 幸福，

a bit sad also cos makes me think bck of the things i lost....

sometimes i really hate myself for can nt become a really 狠 de person...

if i am may be i will not felt wat i am feeling now...

should i feel lucky that i can still be beside him?

should i felt happy that he treat me diff from others?

should i felt sad when walking behind of him watching his bck side facing me?

should i just may be run away to a far far country ?

should i even have hopes for him?

should i? can any one tell me?

* i'm not being emo here just something tangled in my heart and want to pour it all out

i think my friends will totally scold me or saying how stupid i am...but in deed I AM

sometimes i just need to face the truth that i am really STUPID, UNMATURED

May be later something will change...I can feel something will come up...just i dun noe is good or bad...hopefully is something good ba...

lastly today sentence of the day:

IF FEELINGS CAN BE CONTROL, HOW GOOD LIFE CAN BE!

AGREE?

may be something isn't impossible...

at this time 4:08 a.m. i still have the time to blog...i should not be doin this be i can nt help it...

still have many things haven done, i really scare i can nt make it...I'M SCARE!!!!!!!

beside sharing my stupid thinking and fears...i wanted to share that i just went to my FB and i saw my hometown friend...v were close went v r in primary school...but after that v have our own friend so v talk lest...she is younger than me i think two years ba...dun care la...she have this relationship with her bf who is also same primary and secondary school v her...they have been tgt for seven years...really long...but dun noe wat happen they broke up...from the facebook status she is always sad and moody those days...but when time goes on i can see started to go on with her life strongly...i can also felt that she still love him...at that time i really think that they w

ill be tgt bck again because normally i saw those couple tgt for that long also will nt get bk tgt again....but out of the impossibility...they are bck tgt...i was quite shock but from my feelings i can feel that they still love each other and hopefully history will not happen again....i was also happy to c them bck tgt....hopefully they will noe hw to appreciated each other till the end...

from this impossibility...i believe there is chances in life...but to me, myself...i really dun dare to think...chances will nt drop down from the sky, v have to gained it ourself....i tried, i fall, i fail...although i can stand bck up but i edi lose faith de...dun really dare to believe.... so BAD la me being emo again...i promise i will try to share out as much happy and stop sharing emo stuff de...Sorry ya!!

love is everywhere , love is as sweet as this soft candy....hope every1 will get love ^^

i hope my life will be like this smoothies...full of colours...everyday will a special day...full of happiness...^^