updating my life....^_^

to all the people who like my blog , i would like to say a big THANK YOU for u guys to spend ur time at my blog and giving me comment and some encouragement. i felt so grateful to c u r comments towards my blog and my life.....

cos of u guys suddenly i felt that i should always update my blog once awhile so that i can hear from u guys again....hahahaha...

past few months really many things had happen, not just in studies but also relationship, health , friends and also family. it had really been a hard time for me, sometimes no one understands me , sometimes people are grateful to me, sometimes people play a fool on me....what the hell....it had really been a hard time for me. but i can still go through these cos no one's life is prefect or should i say life with out these problem to let us overcome it will not be call life, except u r a dead person than may be u will nt face these problem or may be dead people also have their problem even gods do have their problems ....i wonder....hmmmmm

from these few month i learn that the people who r important to me, who is always by my side when i'm sad, down, disappointed, alone, lost and so on....is very normal for me to always been like that...hahaha....but in the end i still need to get up by myself and be strong. i really thank my frens who are always by my side and fight v me all the time.... encourage me no matter wat happen, even when the sky is goin to fall down she is still by my side encourage me not to let go and keep moving on....such a cute fren i have here. another person is of cos my love one, although this person always bring me many stressing not only in relationship but also with his family, but dun noe y i still can tahan until now....hahaha....may be u guys will say how stupid i am but wat to do....love is blind....although i'm not really blind in it but he really change a lot and i also hope v can stay strong tgt , especially me...hahaha....

after this month i will be moving to subang to continue my studies because my college is goin to move there....found a place to stay that is really near to the college but the rent there is really pricey. i can say that if u r interest in investing i can recommend u to buy a house at subang and rent to student there....u sure will earn bck ur money and time goes u also have a stable income there...hahaha....good plan rite?....now i'm worry bout my result, the place that i am goin to spend few month there, am i goin to graduate in time, haizzz....many things to worry....i still hope everything goes fine...from now on may be i should save more cos the expenses at subang will be a bit high and i really felt bad that if i can nt graduate in time i will goin to waste my father money and even make him more disappointed in me....wish me luck ......

the month of april....^_^

this month is always a special month for me cos of my bday on the 13....every year when it comes to my bday my mind and heart will be like crazy cos always thinking that how my love one will celebrate v me....but actually how they celebrate should nt be important, the thing is i have this kind of "sickness" ever since i past my childhood and always hopping for something special......in my childhood my parents will always celebrate v me by organizing a party for me....almost every time it was many people come to celebrate v me ....than there will have lots of food and also not the forgotten lots of present too...kekeke....after passing childhood everything change....cos i have move to outstation and it will hard to organize a party...so every time....it will be normal, simple and sometimes nice and sometimes not...hahaha....i dun blame some of my frens cos they dun understand me quite well so sometimes they will make something that i dun quite like on my bday..... thats y it makes me tired of wat i always dream of for my bday cos it always nv come true....thats make me quite diff for this year.....

may be this year many things had happen....so makes me just wanting to happy with my frens....and this year...it came true....although i dun have anything grand for my bday celebration, and many of my fren were bc so just my classmate and my hometown frens celebrated v me....but it makes me happy and i also felt warm at the same time....first time i drunk like hell....vomit until i also dun noe how to say( paiseh jie yi for helping me clean up all the mess i have done)....it was really really san fu like hell cos after all dun different alcohol drank tgt.....it was really really san fu for the nxt morning....the other part is sing k with my classmate....this is also my first time to celebrate there although is nothing to special but i felt happy that my frens, my best pal were beside me on my bday.....love them so so much!!!!!

as for the gift...oh my god....this is the first time i got something that i wanted and i was really happy for they have done for me....from the gift i found out that my best pal really remember wat i like and notice me wat i have lack of.....it is really the first time i wanted something and i got it....damn happy!!!!! thankz my gals....really touch of wat u guy did for me.....

and for the other thing that i also did for the first time on my bday was calling non stop...becos it was my bday so hotlink has this free call on my bday....i called to every person that want to call and v chat quite long....happy happy!!!!!this was really some thing that i wanted for is to be happy on my bday....thank everyone for bein there when i needed u guys....




my crazy frens doin my "zao pai dong zhou" hahaha

confusing and yet happy

haven write my blog in this kind of time cos normally it will be in the middle of the nite that i have the feeling to write it...hahaha.....these few month many things had happen......i'm bein single, bein chaise my boys....bein pamper by some one who really love me .... confusing of who to choose, who will give me happiness tat i want...wow....it is really like sitting in roller coaster....

act is kind of free to be single.....do want u want without letting other people to care...flirt as much as u can....hahaha...tats wat i always do....kinda enjoy of bein single tat time.....whne coming down to decision...it really bring me a lot of headache....i hope i will not regret again for making this decision again...but dun noe y now i felt i edi win something and lose another thing.....hope he will understand and and he will always be in my mind and heart tat i will always remember tat there are still other guys that can treat me like a princess...love me for who i am....will be always remember.....

to tat guy out there that i have bein v him for so many years and time.....if u dare to hurt me and make me angry again......there will not be the third time le.....>_<....hao hao fan sing la.....

hope everything will go smoothly ....^_^

happy "new" year.....

now is the year of 2010....a brand new year....it is kind of strange and kind of different cos from last year no so much invitation on goin vacation but in this year is like damn lot.....but cos of my finance problem i can not go all so i just have to choose....i let some of my fren down and may b they r disappointed in me but i also felt sorry and sad that i break my promise again.....i'm really sorry...this few starting week of the new year felt emotional....when i felt sad wish to cry out loud but i can't.....is just like i wanted to shout but i dun have the voice to shout out loud....is like something holding me bck to do so.....may be is because somethings happen in the previous year that make me cry lest and i almost forgot when is the last time that cry out so badly....kinda miss those feeling cos if u just cry out loud it felt good and relieve.....

this year gave a feeling of the year come all those thing coming bck.....some can consider good and some are bad.....somethings change in the last year but this year is like the old self came bck again.....i felt myself is stating to change cos i felt when i'm angry with him and i'm really nt talking v him....and every time when i have hope in him it just turn me down every time...many people ask me to appreciate for wat i have and the person who care of me.....but does he really care.....no one can really tell.....i just felt disappointed v me and starting to felt for myself and care much bout myself.....my feeling....always wanted someone to care more bout me and always b by my side when i needed but i think that some people are may b selfish and i think may b i should be the other person who care more bout myself.....

kinda funny for me to write something so down and sad for the starting year and although i'm still hoping for something special to remember for the coming days and months....but i will not hoping that much cos somethings will always be the same......"happy new year" li ching.....

kinda sad to myself.....

i'm edi stop doin my work ed....i'm edi dun have that kind of feeling to continue.... i felt like i can do much more better but i ratter stop de....wat i happening to me...i'm like running away from something but i dun eve noe wat it is...like mr louis always say thing that r a bit hurt sometimes but he is saying the truth.....am i no ready or i just fooling around....i edi fall down once do i even want to fall down again...of cos not la....but then now i just can not concentrate de cos i'm thinking of my family now....long time didn't go bck de and they miss me very much and my dad goin to have a small operation but then i'm still worry bout him...mind keep on thinking of bad result will come out....is scary...i should really care bout myself more than others...care bout people so much, done so mush thing people dun noe and will not noe and nothing becomes better.....is just a waste of time to put too much effort in it...is kind of tire.....just wish to take a break and do wat ever i want to.....happy holidays to me and my frens out there.....

one of my feelings.......

today is a very tired day....finish rushing roger work but not really complete and after dinner v my best pal came bck and just pengsan there until 12 something am only wake...kekeke....a little of me i worrying bout the marks c i can pass or not cos i dun one to retake it.....and also worrying bout other sub....but worry does not bring me anything so better just let go of it cos wat is done is edi done just need to face it no matter wat.....

yesterday i felt a bit annoyed cos this classmate of mine came and is like giving pressure to me but i noe is me only thinks that way...she is really good in everything i can say but because of sometimes she dun really noe how to understand people that makes people misunderstand her.... but i heard from a fren that she starting to change then i felt i also need to forgive her and may be treat her better cos bein her i noe is not easy....but may b i need time cos still not very guan v her...kekeke....

just now i saw my fren posted pic of her daughter...damn cute...i was really bein touch by those feeling of having a baby and being a mom in my age....cos i noe she is now can consider the happiest women in her life cos she have someone who love her so much and having such beautiful child....later i saw he pic v her husband b4 marry and some wedding pic....i can c happiness in her eyes...her smile....after all those pic....i felt i'm jealous of her....cos i always wanted to be in such happiness but may be not in this age....although i really wanted to get marry in my early age b4 30 but may b thing will change.....this is really god who arrange all these things....if is yours it will be yours for the rest of the time....if not force also no used....
isn't she pretty ^v^

isn't their baby cute and pretty.....


i here wish she and her baby healthy healthy la and also hope she and her baby happy happy....^.^

weird dreams....sleepless nites....

these nites i have weird dreams....it is not any sweet dreams nor any nightmares just i can say some good dreams that may b will happen in life or may b will not.....sometimes it is good to have dreams like tat cos it is another way of giving me chances and hopes to turn things rite also another way to tell myself that i still have choices in life....although i said these things is like very useful but i also hope i have that kind of chances but i think it is not the time and also i still felt that i haven get ready to face although sooner or later i still have to face it.....am i always holding bakc or wat?

sometimes is really easy to say letting go something that is tgt v u like for some years de...but act it is not....is like u edi used to it de....when thinking of getting a new life v someone u felt very strange like everything is not the same de...although u noe that new person will love u more and never ever make u cry no matter wat...it is act a good thing but u decided to let it go cos u edi choose some way that is more harder for u in the future or even now......sometimes u still will think that r u choosing the right way to happiness.....but v can not c into the futire wat will happen...so just let it b....if is meant to be that way...how i'll change it will always b the same......that is wat i dream of these day bout the people who love me but didn't get the chance to b v me always will b in my dreams loving me no matter wat.....hard to believe it.....